I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
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