She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I don't know what weirder, the fact that I flat out said "I thought I deleted you from facebook" or that she responded with "I just hacked your account and readded myself". Never thought I'd say this but I wish drunk me would stop making friends!
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
Randomize
