You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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