I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I'm pretty sure that our Lady and The Tramp Red Vine moment was the farthest I got last night
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
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