Whod you bang
Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Hooked up with a girl in the dorm laundry room tonight. And got invited to go to Vegas for free. That's how today's going.
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
