Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Randomize