I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Woke up eating a pickle on the bathroom floor this morning in some random guys sweat pants.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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