i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Do you think making a dress out of an "Open" flag that my friend stole from a bar, and wearing it out sends the wrong message? ....Or exactly the right message?
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
