I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
