Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize