No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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