Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
You dove at him but passed out mid dive. Shame it wasnt a costume party your superman suit wouldve been clutch in the situation
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
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