those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I just got a lecture from your coked out sister about the monetary value of Dothraki hair braids. Take her home.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
