your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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