I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
