so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Randomize
