i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
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