Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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