worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I love drunk self when he leaves a prepacked bong for the morning... in the bathroom.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I'm drinking sangria out of a sand pail. I'll pass on tonight
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Randomize
