You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Going back to our hometown to help Gramma move. Thinking we should see if we can fuck on the desk of the homophobic coach who first introduced us while in town.
Randomize
