Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Also, horsecock action starts in about a month. Have you prepared yourself yet?
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again
I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
