Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
