if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I might stash a bottle of vodka in your mailbox, that way if I wanna leave early I can drink in your frontyard till you get back.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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