Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I'm at the gas station where we got beef jerky and condoms. The fact that those two are in the same sentence makes me love you more.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
