id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
He kissed a someone with a penis
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
So many people have lost their virginity on my futon... I think it is only the right thing to bronze it and put it on display
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Randomize
