You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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