One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
It's just like the Real World with babies
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
She was crying and singing Taylor Swift on repeat. I'm never drinking with her again.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
Neither of us have work tomorrow and we live w/n walking distance. This is your official Sandy booty call. Come rock me like a hurricane.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
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