Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
