The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Banned from zoo.
Again?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize