Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
