she looked like the bat from fern gully.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
