all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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