Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
So I was just like hi, I'm your roommate's gf. Please don't hate me. That would be rly inconvenient for you.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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