How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My whole sorority girl exterior is just a lie. I'm a fat tumblr girl on the inside.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Randomize
