He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
