I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Woaahhhh there! We are JUST drunk fucking. Don't call me "baby".
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize