I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
