your butthole totally puckers for the ginge
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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