well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
