I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
