I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I want her autograph on my taint
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I'm to the point where I'm fantasizing about Iron Chefs going down on me.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
Randomize
