I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
this beer tastes like vomit already
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
the only reason i invite her is so when the guys start to hit on her i know it's time to take their keys
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
Randomize
