i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
She hash tagged the word blow job in her text. Tonight's going to be good.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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