I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
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