We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
Randomize
