who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Hey, I can't find my bed frame. Do you know who took it?
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
Yeah, he hid all the toilet paper and took a video of me looking for it before I shit my pants. Definitely playing that clip at our wedding.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
Randomize
