8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Aaaaaaand, there's the title of my second book. "One Dick. Six Angles."
Well thank god i want six autographed copies
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
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