return my video game
so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
