Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Im drinking a large pickle jar full of Emergency, water and left over pickle juice and I dont care.
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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