she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
