You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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