so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I woke up with a shot glass nestled between my boobs like a baby bird.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
