we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I could make wine with my vomit
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
