they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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