today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
