I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
