Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
I was like ahh were on two different pages, I know there's rumors of me moving to boston but I can't and I'm not adding long distance to the relationship I have with my 31 year old recently divorced ex boss
Randomize