Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Just realized Ive never seen my f buddy in the daylight. What if he looks different?
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
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