Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
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