i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize
