I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
She's the barista slut.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
Randomize
