I'm sorry my penis didn't work
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
BTW. If I show up really drunk and dressed a cowboy, don't be alarmed
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Walking around as slutty Ron Swanson is amazing
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Randomize
