I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
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