im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize