ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Just saw a squirrel crossing the road in a crosswalk..my morning has improved exponentially.
I checked into jail on foursquare
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
Randomize