No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
A big toe in my vag is not foreplay.
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
If you can endure a laser on the butthole, you can endure a wax on the butthole. Those are words to live by.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
