Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
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