Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
Randomize
