my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
