bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
There's a time and a place for everything. Except for getting wasted at a work event, puking in the parking lot, and sleeping in your car overnight.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
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