Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Just wondering did you put mouse traps and brownies on my porch?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
