Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
